
For anyone who hasn't been to the Penthouse lately, you may not know what we are talking about when we mention our "Balls." Let me just explain what we are referring to. We had a certain expedition to my hometown of Chandler, AZ and while we were there we obtained bull testicles that are made completely of rubber and are to be hung from the back of your car signifying that you car has "power."
Yesterday, we had an unfortunate mishap with our balls. Someone stole our balls. At first we were somewhat confused, looking back at our day trying to remember who saw that balls last. We then came to realization that Steve had seen the shadow of a certain Caitie Crandall reaching up to not only tap the balls, but to steal them away to her own apartment. Here at the Penthouse, we do not tolerate the crime of theft, and therefore had to get our balls back.
We started things off by dressing in our prank suits. As we arrived at Howard's Apartments, we came into a quick huddle to devise a strategy. We decided that the most appropriate strat would be to move in quickly and search for balls. As we opened the door and forced our way into the girls' apartment we quickly made our way to their rooms in search for our balls. As me, Dallin, and Steve found our way into a room, we quickly locked the door behind us. We rummaged through their clothes and panties ;) (we're not pervs) but came up with no balls. We then exited the room pretending like we had something (which we didn't) and continued to run for the Olds. We drove around the block and came back to the apartments noticing that one of the girls' cars was missing and that their apartment had lights off and doors locked. The funny thing is that they left their window open. So Dallin was able to push out the screen and open the door. We were in! We quickly grabbed their car keys and contemplated taking their laptops, but they were back before we knew it. They had gone to the Penthouse to take back Kristi Smith's soccer ball, while we were looting their whole frickin' house! As they sped back to their house and realized we were inside, they freaked. We ran off to our car and quickly drove back to the Penthouse to survey the damage. As we combed the room, we found that the only thing taken was the soccer ball, just as we suspected. We had the upper hand. We drove back to Howard's and calmly got out of our car. We walked to their door and knocked, and they hesitated with opening the door. They then appeared in the doorway with balls in hand (Caitie was holding the balls) the quickly demanded their keys, but we weren't going to make it that easy. We withheld their keys as to build suspense. I then called another huddle and brought Steve and Dallin in, and we convinced Dallin to run for the balls... to just go for it. He did, and very quickly the seven of us were quickly engaged in a smack down. For some reason I ran to the rooms in the apartment (not knowing that the balls were in the kitchen)Dallin was holding Kristi back so that me and Steve could get in, and Steve got caught up in a 1 on 4 vendetta. As I realized what was going on, I quickly ran to the kitchen and pried the balls from Caitie's hands and pitched em to Dallin who ran for the door, which was closed in front of him by Kristi. Caitie also got in on the action and made herself a doorstop. Being unmerciful and ruthless in obtaining my prized balls back, I went for the throat (literally) and moved Caite and Kristi away from the door so that Dallin could make a great escape. He did, but was being pursued by a small (but tough) Leisel Innes. Me and Steve quickly ran out the door and to the reliable Olds, and now needed to find Dallin who was running from little Leisel. To make a long story short we drove around for a bit and found Dallin. With our glorious balls back in hand we triumphantly drove home and slept soundly. :)
Pictured Right: The Girls that stole our balls: Leisel Innes, Briana Harrison, Kristi Smith, and Caitie Crandall